Happiness

when I was reading the chapter August I did not quite enjoy the reading as much , as when I read the first chapter. Also I was not as moved, now maybe it is because all the bad things that were said about her, that were not clouding my brain, or maybe it just wasn’t that good.  Either way it still wasn’t bad. I liked being reminded about how time flies, and loved the quote “ the days are long , but the years are short”. And I would completely agree with that. Its funny that we are so used to distractions all the time. I can not just drive, I have to drive with music. I can not just wait in line, I have to read something , or talk. Running without music is so dreadful. Many people have lost the ability to just be, and it is nice to be reminded to be mindful of that.

Another topic she mention that I connected with is, happy people are much too often taken for granted. And not taken seriously so often.  Ruben writes “It’s more selfless to act happy. It takes energy, generosity, and discipline to be unfailingly lighthearted, yet everyone takes the happy person for granted.” I did not quite realize that till I read it , and I noticed in my own life how true that was. I remember often when I was unhappy or feeling sad I would plaster a smile and be bubbly, just so I would not ruin the fun for everyone else. Although now i have stoped doing that, because I felt I need to be taken more seriously, however, I feel i had it right when I was younger.  But I also realized often sometimes its just subconscious. Body language specialist Vanessa Van Edwards explained that when people smile too much they are taken less seriously and viewed as less intelligent. So sometimes we dont even makes these judgements consciously. 

The readings by Paulson have been by far my favorite, not only because they were short and sweet. But they were great reminders of what is actually important, and what matters in the end of the day. 

A recovering jerk.

It was fascinating to read how we can so very easily be in denial about anything, and how perfectly we can rationalize just about everything.  I guess for me, feedback is very beneficial and  valuable.Although,  when I first hear criticism , I get embarrassed followed by sadness, that quickly translates to anger. But after I have mentally abused the critic, I than realize that there is truth in it. And than it does help me in bringing up my standard of performance 

 Don’t complain just work,

While reading this chapter , I thought,  my god I need to stop complaining!!!! , even right now I am complaining about complaining. But I do , I complain , Its funny but pitiful about the things I complain about. I could not even have asked for a better life,  and yet I somehow manage to complain. And after reading about the therapist and baseball player I realized I have to vow not to complain ever again. But than again I thought, everything we do is for a reason. There is a reason we complain, therefore it must serve some kind of purpose. Maybe it is therapeutic. If I have a had an awful day or week, there is a lot of sadness I am holding in, and after I talk about it to my best friend, or boy friend and maybe even mother, I feel better and more relaxed. So clearly there is a benefit. So.... Maybe I don’t have to go all cold turkey from complaining. But what I need is a little conversational check . Because what I realized is, I maybe complain just to talk. And that is where complaining turns dysfunctional. But if I can complain only when I need to, with people who I trust , than its serves a function.

Thank – notes,

I have always loved notes, thankyou notes especially. The only person I have given thank you notes is my mother, and I absolutely love to give them. And what surprised me,  from all the presents I have given her- which shamefully aren’t that many- thank you  , gratitude , love , and just random notes are the only ones she keeps. Even though thank you notes take the  least amount of time and money , but they mean the most to my mother. So yes I believe thank you notes are always a to do , in my list. But Maybe I should start  branching them out. It never crossed my mind to send them , to administration, or people who help out in the process. Although I would still find them hard to write to anybody, if there is something to gain from it, because than the joy of writing them is lost. 

Show gratitude ,

Well when I read this chapter what stuck out to me is that sometimes its hard to find a way to thank someone that help change your life, there is no way. So the next best you can do is pay it forward. I had such an incident , and uncle of mine once gave me a book – the power of the subconscious mind-  And it completely changed my life, and I read it more than 5 years agao, and I am still reaping the benefits. The change was such a drastic and positive one, that I have been ever since than trying to get him something to show how thankful i am to him. , but no gift or gesture ever seems good enough to me. So when I read about just pay it forward I felt such relief, and yes I feel that it is another way that is equally good to show gratitude. And I am happy to say I have lent it to my friend, and she too is loving the benefits the book provides. 

Be a commutarian

This chapter was fun and I read it in the best time. Just today I was planning on cancelling this volunteer job I had taken to coach kids squash, I have disliked every day that I have been there.  I was just about to call up and quit. I was happy to be reminded of my duty to keep on.

I do agree with the writer when he/she said , people just do not realize that there are responsibilities we have, as a result of the comfortable life we lead. It is actually our responsibility to make sure the homeless people are ok, this topic gets me going, and i can just keep writing about it.