Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Journaling

Journaling

To me journaling is proving to be an extremely rewarding experience, and exiting to realize to be able to see my thoughts, to be able to read and reflect on my own ideas, that give rise to even more ideas. And therefore I enjoyed reading what other people wrote as well. It was pleasing to realize my belief that nobody is stupid, just some people are more knowledgeable, proves to be true. I felt like reading the different journal entries written by people were also interesting in their own way, and had some sort of insight.
            I found it particularly hard to be able to pick two journals to analyze. I first wanted to pick journal writing by Hitler or Stalin, Or any famous hated figure, and compare that journal to a famous humanitarian, and than try to find a manner in which they are similar to one another, but unfortunately wasn’t able too.  Instead I just randomly picked journal entries that did something for me. I first picked a journal entry from Kurt cobain, prior to reading his entry I did not know that he was, but found his entry quite fascinating. I like the way he was blunt with his language. It seemed like he was just writing what he was thinking. Maybe the appeal to his journaling style was that I find my self-journaling in the same way.  Here is a piece from his entry

“I kind of feel like a dork writing about myself like this as if I were an American pop-rock icon-demi God, or a self-confessed product of corporate-packaged rebellion, but I’ve heard so many insanely exhaggerated stories or reports from my friends and Ive read so many pathetic second rate, freudian evaluations from interviews from my childhood up until the present state of my personality and how I’m a notoriously f—ed up heroine addict, alcoholic, self destructive, yet overtly sensitive, frail, fragile, soft spoken, narcoleptic, neurotic, little pissant who at any minute is going to O.D. jump off a roof wig out blow my head off or all 3 at once. Oh Pleez GAWD I can’t handle the success! The success! And I feel so incredibly guilty!”

I am not quite sure what it was about this passage that I liked, but after reading this I went and looked him up. I enjoyed reading his entry.  From reading the many journal entries –to try to find the one- I found one genre convention of journals was, that most of the writers were talking to themselves through their writting. It is interesting how people will call a person that talks to himself crazy, but if someone journals instead, they are being creative and productive. Even though, in both cases the person is pretty much doing the same thing, releasing your own thought to them selves.

Another genre convention of journaling is letter writing. In many journals people are writing to some one else. Words or thoughts they have not, will not, share with the person they are writing too. I personally did some journaling when my father hurt my feelings, and I was not able to tell him he hurt me. So instead I wrote to him in my journal, and I felt better. The next journal I picked was from a random person, who is presumably writing to a former love.  
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Many journals entries I read were like these, a note to someone that is not intend to be shared, I assume.

Another convention of journaling is observation. For me this is one I enjoy quite a lot, although I do also enjoy the other conventions. However, there is something very therapeutic about observation.  And often in journals people write about some random observation, and then go deep into the thought. I enjoy keeping my journal with me as much as possible- even though I do not have it as often as I would wish- it is rewarding keeping it next to me.  When there is a quick observation I make, I like to just write it down, and when I have time, dive into it.  

Monday, July 13, 2015

Readings week 2


The happiness project was a lovely chapter to read. I enjoyed it so much that I was inspired to make myself a happiness project, definitely less thought out then the author’s,  and with no time limit, but following the  same idea basically. While reading this chapter I was brought to tears. Because I am in the same boat the author was in.
It is an unsettling feeling, also a feeling of ungratefulness. Like the authors I feel my life is good, I have everything I could ask for. Great friends, great family, extremely wonderful boyfriend, and all the comforts I need, I am studying what I love, and there is nothing more I can think to ask for. And yet somehow I don’t fully feel complete. What I found puzzling was that I feel happy, and yet not happy. It like I am happy, but not the level I want.
            Before I read this chapter, I felt isolated in my feeling, and never thought to talk about it. Even though I generally feel free to talk to my loved ones just about anything. Some how I felt selfish wanting to be happier, and scared to consider I might always want just a little more.  After reading that the author felt what I felt,, and acknowledge my feeling,  was  a bit overwhelming.
            So I have decided to make my own happiness project. My project is very simple. Once a week I will do one thing that I have wanted to do, but always found reasons not to. So today I went for a bike ride with my friend from dt to IV and back,  it took us 2 and half hour but I felt great. For next week I am not sure what I plan to do, but whatever come up I am going to do it. I am not sure what I am going to feel in a couple of weeks, or a couple of months, but I am exited to see.
            The other two readings were fun and inspiring as well. I loved the article about how to just get started with writing, and it was motivating, because today I am going to get my journal, and finally start journaling  
           
           

The Self

About me.
            Hello, My name is Anjani. I am from both India and Sweden. I was born in Sweden and moved to India when I was only 5 years old. Than when I turned 15 I moved to Sweden. I have had a lot of cultural shock, and I have had to adapt to very different kinds of cultures. All of which has helped mold the person I am today. But one of the simple lessons I learned was, you can never attribute characteristic to people based on nationality.
            I find it hard to describe my self by listing my hobbies, because,  that is a very small fraction of me. But however, here I go, I played a lot of Squash, thought I would be playing professionally, But decided against it, because an athletes career ends too fast, plus I hated the fact that no matter how hard I trained, the best male squash player would be better than the best female. So that’s when I realized I wanted to get into academy, and have a career in which I can grow in until I die. I love understanding behavior, I love backing as well, but judging from people’s expression, I am the only one who enjoys it.  Dancing is my way of getting a high, I love every part of dancing Salsa, and I would recommend everyone to try it at least once.
            My beliefs in life are more a description of me, and I have a hundred of them, I will share a few. A) No matter what it is you want, if you work hard enough you will find a way of getting it. B) I feel the world needs to see people and things around them as one, seeing the earth as a whole, will make you not only treat everyone better, but even everything around you with more respect. Because whether you accept it or not, your actions, be it as small as a smile effect others. C) If you try to understand why someone behaves badly, you are less likely to be judgmental towards him or her.  D)There is good in everyone, no matter how bad the person seems, they is always good somewhere within them.